So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
