So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
