So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy