took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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