I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize