Nicole vs. Life
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
