so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
