Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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