The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
