I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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