The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
