Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
