I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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