Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
