The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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