Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
