kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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