WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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