I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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