my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
