if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
