I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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