she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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