I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
