butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
