Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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