my mouth tastes like poor choices
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
