I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
