They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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