I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
