Only a mothe r could love this liver
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
FUCK WHALES
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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