Taylor Swift is so right about you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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