The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
