get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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