It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
