Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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