hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
false alarm. still invincible.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
