Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
