Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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