"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
