morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
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Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
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who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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