You're my little dorito
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
