He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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