is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
