it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
