is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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