I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
