So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
