I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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