HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
