he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
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