Me too!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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