When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
