we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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