I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
