Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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