FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
