Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
