What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
