And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
