no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
