Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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