I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up