bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.