"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
