I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
