You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
