I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
